


cracked normalcy

by arekxandura



Series: 'till the cannons fire [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Furlan Church and Levi and Isabel Magnolia are Siblings, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Siblings, Series, Slow Burn, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28939242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arekxandura/pseuds/arekxandura
Summary: The silence was deafening. Her heart was beating against her chest and her breathing was starting to quicken. Mikasa could feel her pulse pumping in her ears and on the sides of her head; it was an erratic pattern that she wished Armin wouldn’t be able to hear.Erwin opened the paper.[Hunger Games! AU]
Relationships: Furlan Church & Levi & Isabel Magnolia, Levi Ackerman & Mikasa Ackerman, Levi/Hange Zoë, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: 'till the cannons fire [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122524
Comments: 33
Kudos: 101





	1. part i

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to try exploring dynamics ❤️ hope you guys enjoy !

Mikasa heaved the sack of coal over her shoulders, a low grunt escaping her lips. The load wasn’t necessarily heavy—at least, not for her—but the cold sting of the air bit at her pale skin and the dust from the mines managed to enter her broken goggles, blurring her vision. 

District 12 was not above child labor. Every bit of strength the miners could take, they made use of. At the young age of 11, at least a year before her name was to be entered at the reaping, Mikasa found herself helping in the mines, doing what she could in order to survive. Despite her young age and small stature, Mikasa was already doing backbreaking work. Carrying coal and dragging it towards machines, handing water to workers during break time, cleaning the machinery—anything that wouldn’t put her life in imminent danger, the workers gladly gave her. 

She supposed she should be thankful, considering that the work in the quarry helped keep food on the table and clothes on her body. The Seam was a place for the desolate and the desperate, but Mikasa made do. Her work was something that she kept secret from her older brother, Levi. It had been about less than a month since she started working, and she was pretty sure he still had no idea as to what she was up to. Levi would have probably chained her to their bed and refused her school if he found out that she spent her afternoons in the mines and not in the bakeries where she claimed she was. 

Levi hated grime and soot. This in itself was ironic, considering that the entirety of their district was perpetually covered in dark dust because of the mines. Ever since their cousins Isabel and Farlan started living with them, food on the table always never seemed to be enough. The tesserae was a meager supply that barely supported them throughout winter, so Levi made the choice to try hunting for food in the forest outside the district. He was skilled with blades and his knife-throwing skills were fantastic. Farlan had taken to following the older Ackerman to the forests after he turned thirteen. 

Compared to Levi, Farlan was way more sociable. Ever since Levi started allowing the young boy to accompany him in his hunts, money started flowing. Farlan knew how to sweet-talk the people at the Hob to buy the animals Levi hunted as he easily engaged in backdoor deals with peacekeepers, merchants, and even the _mayor._ He was the one who did the talking while Levi would stay in the woods, sharpening his blades and hiding from society. 

Meanwhile, Isabel who chose to help take care of the household. She was the one who made sure that Kuchel, Mikasa and Levi's sickly mother, was eating. At first, Mikasa had willingly helped her by taking care of the house and making sure that it was pristine (mostly because she didn’t want to aggravate her mother’s illness any further, and, well, with a brother like _Levi,_ she’d rather not risk it), free from the clutter and coal dust particles. 

However, when holes starting showing up at the edges of her frayed shirts and the food in their house was starting to become sparser by the day; when the papers in the reaping bowl contained forty-two instances of Levi’s name as desperation urged him to keep applying for tesserae, Mikasa made the decision to start working in the mines.

Isabel was the only person who knew, and she covered for the younger Ackerman kindly, informing Levi what a “good job” Mikasa had been doing in the bakery with her blond friend, Armin. 

Mikasa scoffed as she lugged the sack of coal over the machine, watching as the dark material joined the rest of its predecessors, forming a dark mass and leaving streaks of black in its wake. _Good job my ass_ , she thought, her mind flying to the kind-hearted Armin who, whilst shaking, lied to Levi after he had inquired how Mikasa had been doing at her job. Thankfully, Levi had nothing to be suspicious about considering that Armin was the type to stutter. 

“You doin’ okay there, child?” 

Mikasa looked up to see Hannes, the kind man who had taken a liking to her after she boldly went to the mines and asked for a job. He patted her on the head good-naturedly, smiling as he kneeled down to talk to her. 

“Good thing we don’t see your brother in this part of town, eh?”

“Levi hates the mines,” Mikasa answered automatically. “He doesn’t like getting dirty.” 

“He has no problem rolling around in the dirt-covered forest, though,” Hannes said quizzically, and Mikasa shrugged. She wasn’t one to pry on the details of Levi’s eccentricities. “Well, either way,” the man said dismissively, waving his gloved hands over his face, “Mikasa, what do you say to having a friend here in the mines?”

“A friend?” Mikasa repeated, blinking in confusion. 

Hannes nodded. “Yeah, someone your age who can accompany you or at least help you with your job. So you’re not alone.” 

“I’m fine by myself,” she said stubbornly, trying not to cross her arms over her chest the way Isabel would whenever Farlan said something she didn’t agree with. “I don’t need any help.”

“Well, seems like this guy needs your help more than you need his,” Hannes replied, chuckling. He stood up and looked behind him, and Mikasa watched in slight curiosity as he shouted, “Eren, you can stop hiding now.”

“I don’t want to!” a distant voice responded. Mikasa tilted her head to the side, angling her neck so that she could make out the figure that was standing behind one of the machinery. 

He was but a short boy wearing a tan shirt and shorts, with a red scarf wrapped around his neck protectively. Mikasa could barely make out his eyes behind the thick rimmed goggles, but she could somehow feel his glare even though she was meters away from her. _Eren,_ Hannes called him. Briefly, she wondered if Eren needed to work for his family as well, and was as desperate as she was. 

Sighing, Hannes turned towards Mikasa, placing a hand over her shoulder. “Why don’t you talk to him? Maybe then he’ll come. He wants to work here but I don’t think he can grasp the strings quite as easily as you did.” 

Mikasa sighed before nodding. Hannes smiled. “Thank you, Mikasa.” 

She nodded for a second time and decided to make her way towards the boy. He could see her back away slightly before deciding to stay in his place, perhaps planning to glare his way out of the situation. Mikasa knew there were people like that, she just never thought she’d meet one of them so early. 

“Hello,” Mikasa said softly, raising her goggles over her eyes so that she could see him better. She extended her hand to him, trying to be as friendly as Farlan. “My name’s Mikasa, and starting today, we will be working together.” 

He didn’t respond to her, but instead slapped her hand away and stared at her menacingly, as if she had just told him to go jump off a cliff and _die._ Mikasa sighed, shaking her head. “Fine, be like that. You won’t get any favours from me.” 

“I know how to work around here,” Eren shot at her, and she raised a nonchalant eyebrow. “I can do it myself.” 

Mikasa shrugged. “If you say so. Don’t complain later, okay?” 

* * *

Sneaking back to the house was an easy feat, especially since she was working in tandem with Isabel **.** The older girl would leave a bucket of water outside so that Mikasa could take a bath in one of their run-down sheds. Mikasa would scrub herself from her head to the rims of her toenails, making sure to eradicate every speck of dust that would cause suspicion to arise from Levi. After that, she would rap her knuckles once, then twice, then thrice on the back door (a special knock she and Isabel had created) so that the older girl could allow her entry after making sure that Kuchel was resting. 

Mikasa would help clean the house, double-checking to make sure that everything was in place so that Levi wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning it once he arrived from his trips to the forest. Sometimes, she would assist Isabel in cooking, but if Mikasa were honest, that was a department she knew she just didn’t excel in. 

“How was work?” Isabel said slowly, allowing her voice to drown in the clatter of pots and pans as she set up the cooking station. “Did you do your job well?”

Mikasa nodded. The conversations, although silent and discreet, were still monitored and careful in order to ensure that Kuchel wouldn't catch on to the true nature of her job. She'd worry herself to death if she knew Mikasa was working in the mines. 

“I met someone today,” Mikasa replied softly, not taking her eyes away from the dishes she was scrubbing. “Since he’s new, he doesn’t necessarily know what to do. He acts as if he does, though.” 

Isabel chuckled as she started chopping up two of the squirrels Farlan had proudly caught that morning. “Don’t men always do that?” 

Mikasa smiled in response, granting the dirty dishes and the sink the gracious opportunity to bear witness to such a rare occasion. “Yeah.” 

The brown-hair girl nudged her gently, and Mikasa turned to look at Isabel with light annoyance. “What?”

“You’re starting to act like your brother. Lighten up, will you?” 

Mikasa stuck her tongue out at Isabel immaturely, and the latter laughed. “See, there you go, much more fun.” 

They worked in silence for the next half-hour, allowing the light sound of clatter to be their background noise as they waited for the boys to come back home. It was a moment they shared in the early hours of twilight—their very own form of catharsis, ritualistic and just so utterly _theirs._

Isabel broke the silence with a voice barely higher than a whisper. “It’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”

Even without Isabel blatantly saying what she was talking about, Mikasa immediately knew the context. “Yes,” she answered, closing her eyes. It was Isabel’s second year with her name in the reaping bowl for the games, Farlan’s third, and Levi’s last.

Mikasa frowned. 

After his final reaping, Levi would be free to do whatever he wished. He could easily run away to live in the forest, distancing himself to all the responsibilities the world had decided to throw on his shoulders. 

Isabel swallowed, and Mikasa could tell that the older girl’s thoughts were the same as hers. “He wouldn’t do that, would he?” Isabel said, her eyes starting to brim with tears. “Levi won’t leave us, right?” 

“He won’t,” Mikasa confirmed firmly. “Levi would _never.”_

“Thanks Mika,” Isabel whispered gently, placing a hand on Mikasa’s cheek. “I’m sorry for crying. You’re way more mature than I am even though _I’m_ the one who’s supposed to be older.” 

Mikasa leaned into her touch, placing a hand over Isabel’s. “I’m still your younger sister.” 

“And a very brave one at that.” Isabel booped Mikasa’s nose at that, giggling as she pulled the younger girl in for a hug. Mikasa rolled her eyes and leaned on Isabel’s shoulder, taking in her warmth. 

_We’ll be okay,_ Mikasa found herself thinking, as she closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of her sister. 

They were still in a comfortable hug when Levi and Farlan entered the room, the latter’s boisterous laughter filling in the air. “Can I have a hug too?” he said, opening his arms as he approached the two girls. 

Isabel laughed as she grabbed Mikasa’s hand and launched their bodies towards Farlan. The boy wrapped his arms around them jovially, and Mikasa was greeted by the smell of leaves and dirt. 

“Tch, you’re filthy,” Levi said, grabbing Farlan by the collar and pulling him away from the girls, but Isabel held onto her older brother tighter. “Take a bath before you start dirtying up people.” 

“Ehhh, it’s okay Levi!” Farlan retorted, grinning as he ruffled Mikasa’s hair with his right hand and held his sister in his other arm. “Join us!” 

Levi didn’t reply, but Mikasa saw the smallest of smiles make its way on her brother’s lips. The young girl clutched Farlan tighter and buried her face in his stomach. Soon, Mikasa felt Levi’s hand on her hair, gently running his fingers through her slightly damp strands.

Farlan had probably pulled an unwilling Levi in the group hug. 

After a few seconds, Levi broke the affectionate embrace by saying “Can we eat?” stoically. Mikasa could hear the annoyance in Isabel’s voice as the older girl whined. 

“Fine! You’re gonna like how I cooked the squirrel today,” Isabel announced, breaking away from Farlan’s hold. “I’ll go wake up Aunt Kuchel.” 

Levi nodded as he shrugged off his jacket, hanging it on their sorry excuse for a coat rack: a rickety branch carelessly nailed on the side of the door. 

Kuchel entered the room looking unwell, her hair sticking to the sides of her face with sweat. Isabel supported the older woman’s weight as they walked the short distance to the dining table. Her cheeks were hollow and her skin was like snow, pale and white without any hints of color. Kuchel smiled at the group of children before she leaned towards Levi to kiss his cheek fondly. 

“You’re doing a good job taking care of your siblings, my son,” she said softly. 

“Yes, the _brats_ are doing well,” Levi replied without a hint of malice. Kuchel’s smile grew even wider. 

Mikasa ran towards her mother, launching herself onto the older woman's skirt. She placed her head on Kuchel’s chest. Mikasa could hear the rhythmic beating of Kuchel's heart against her ears.

Kuchel returned the hug immediately, kissing the top of Mikasa’s head gently. Inwardly, Mikasa thanked Isabel for always leaving water outside for her to bathe. 

“Have you been good today, Mikasa?” Kuchel whispered, and Mikasa nodded immediately, holding her mom tighter. “That’s good. My young girl’s all grown up. Thank you for taking care of her Isabel, we owe you and Farlan a lot.” 

“Aunt Kuchel,” Isabel started, smiling playfully. “We can’t have this conversation before dinner _always,_ you know. It’s me and Farlan who owe you a lot by giving us a place to live. If it wasn’t for you, we’d end up in the orphanage where people never smile.” 

“She’s right,” Farlan said, nodding in agreement. “You’re an angel, aunty.” 

“Well, whatever the case,” Kuchel ran a hand on Mikasa’s hair as the young girl let go, “:et’s all be happy that we are together. Come on, let’s eat.” 

Dinner was always spent in silence because everyone took the time to enjoy the food placed in front of them. There were only two times the Ackerman family would eat: the early mornings and evenings. On good days, when Farlan struck a particularly good deal, they could eat lunch together as well. Levi would go home early and cook, Isabel would sing all throughout the afternoon, Farlan would sit on the floor and retell his stories to Kuchel proudly, and Mikasa would be in the middle of it all, holding her legs close to her and taking everything in. 

After dinner, Mikasa would brush her teeth before lying on Kuchel’s lap. It was at this time that the Capitol would flash the nightly news on the television. It was the only time the electricity could be slightly reliable.

When the news finished, peace would envelop the entire household. Night time constantly found their home filled with Farlan’s absent humming and the scent of Levi’s soap. While she had dreams of a better life for them, Mikasa thought that their house, which was in no way big (in fact, it was far too small for all of them, to the point that she had to cling to Isabel just so her tiny body wouldn't fall off the bed) or comfortable, was good enough for their family. As good as it could get, anyway. Mikasa takes what she can. 

Once the world stilled, and Levi and Farlan were sprawled on the floor, Mikasa would hold Isabel’s hand and allow her mother to stroke the strands of her hair until sleep was ready to take her to a beautiful world without cruelty, thousands of butterflies, and never-ending peace—where her family was not just content, but also free. 

* * *

Mikasa is awoken by the sound of Levi’s gentle footsteps. 

She opened her eyes by a bit, afraid that the light would shock her eyes. To her surprise, it was still dawn, and the early morning rays of the sun were barely in the sky. She raised her head and watched as Levi put on his jacket, tucking blades in his boots and inside the hidden pockets of his jeans. 

_“Levi won’t leave us, right?”_

“Levi?” Mikasa whispered, and she could feel her eyes starting to tear up. 

Her older brother paused his preparations and glanced at her, his eyes slightly wide as he took in that she was awake. “Go back to sleep,” he told her quietly while folding the edges of the sleeves that were too long for his arms. “It’s still early.” 

Mikasa didn’t listen to him, and stood up, careful not to hit Isabel’s arm. She frowned as she hopped off the bed silently, staring at Levi. “Can I come with you?” she said, pulling at the edge of his sleeve. “Please?”

Levi sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. “I’m going to the forest,” he explained, patting the blades on his pants. “To hunt.”

“You don’t need to,” Mikasa replied, shaking her head. “We’re going to the Hall of Justice, right?” 

“It’s just to clear my head before the reaping.” 

“Let me come with you, please?” Levi glanced at her, his eyes stern. Mikasa held his gaze, refusing to back down. “Just this once, and I’ll never ask again, I promise. It’s early and people won’t see me because I’m still small.” 

Levi sighed for a second time that day. “ _Fine._ But don’t start crying when you see me kill something.” 

“I won’t cry.” 

“Don’t make a sound.” 

“I promise.” 

“Stick close to me.” 

“I will.” 

The only sound they made when they exited the house was the small _click_ when the door locked behind them. The early morning chill was starting to crawl on her skin, so she pulled her own coat closer to her. 

True to her word, Mikasa stuck close to Levi as he walked. Levi wasn’t tall by societal standards (in fact, Farlan was taller than him and even their mother was only a little shorter than Levi), but he was swift. Mikasa knew he had slowed his pace on purpose so she could keep up. She made sure to cling onto the edge of his jacket and walk as fast as her short legs would allow her. Her tiny boots made it harder for her to match his speed, but Mikasa made do. 

They arrived at the city outskirts easily, and Mikasa held her breath as Levi paused. He was listening for the hum of electricity on the wires. He really didn’t need to do that, because District 12’s consistent power outages ensured that the wires would never surge to life. The lack of consistent power made for extremely cold winters and hot summers, but it was a blessing for when Levi had to trek in the forest for food. 

Levi nodded, and Mikasa sighed in relief. Immediately, she went prone and started crawling underneath the wire, trying her best not to get stabbed by the barbs. She gave Levi a small, proud smile when she arrived at the other edge, unharmed. He hummed in approval before joining her, expertly maneuvering through the barbed wires. 

This was the first time Mikasa had ever been to the forest, and the feeling was exhilarating. She wanted to go back to her home and run into the woods at the same time. Levi gestured towards his jacket sleeve nonchalantly, and she obeyed his silent command by holding on to him as they started walking deeper into the woods. 

The sun was already rising. Mikasa sniffed, sensing the familiar smell of leaves on Farlan’s coat and Levi’s jacket stronger than ever before. Levi led them through the forest with practiced ease. About two minutes later, he stopped. Mikasa tilted her head to the side in surprise as she followed her brother’s gaze. 

A snare sat in front of them, and in it was a small bird. 

“What do you think about quail for dinner?” 

Quail was Mikasa’s favourite meal, but she shook her head immediately. “Maybe Farlan can trade it for a better price,” she said, trying to sound wiser than she actually was. 

“It’s the day of the reaping,” Levi stated, “Might as well have a good dinner to celebrate while we’re at it. Besides,” he nudged her teasingly, “you like quail.”

Mikasa pondered for a moment, the thought of a delicious home-cooked meal already in her mind. “Maybe just this once.” 

Levi pointed at a tree branch close by. “You can stay there.” 

She nodded, not wanting to disobey his commands lest he decide never to bring her with him again. The forest was not as silent as she expected it to be. Songbirds were chirping loudly, and the distinct sound of a river not-so-far-off from them mingled with the melodies. She tucked her jacket into the waistband of her jeans and shoved her hands inside its pockets before she sat down. 

Mikasa watched as Levi started cutting out the quail from the snare with his blades. After that, he began tying its limbs using bits of twine he most likely received from the butcher. The crease in his eyebrows was gone as he focused on his task. Levi seemed so calm in the woods.

_“Levi won’t leave us, right?”_

“Levi,” she said, pulling her knees closer to her body. 

“Hmm?”

“Y-you’re not gonna leave us, right?” Mikasa cursed herself inwardly as her voice broke, tears starting to form at the edges of her eyes. 

Levi stopped what he was doing to look at her, an eyebrow raised. “What made you think that?” he asked. 

“Nothing,” she answered swiftly. When he said nothing and maintained his pressing gaze, Mikasa sighed. “It’s just . . . this is the last reaping. After today, you can do whatever you want.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Like run away into the woods where you don’t have to worry about taking care of us.”

The tears she had been holding in were starting to escape, so Mikasa buried her face in the space between her legs, trying to suppress a sniffle. 

“That’s stupid,” she heard Levi say. Mikasa felt a hand on her hair as Levi ruffled her strands affectionately. She didn’t even hear him move to approach her. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

She raised her head, and was met with the older man's smirk. “Besides, you _brats_ would accidentally burn the district down when I’m gone.” 

Her older brother wasn’t good with words. This was something that their mother told her when Mikasa was five. She had been siting on Kuchel's lap, tears streaking her cheeks as she claimed that Levi hated her. Now that Mikasa was a bit older and a lot wiser, she found herself clinging to that fact. 

Levi didn’t need words to assure them that he would stay. 

“Thanks Levi,” Mikasa said, wiping her tears with her hands. 

“Yeah, now quit crying, you’re gonna scare the birds.”

* * *

Isabel was already awake by the time they returned home. 

“Where have you been?” The girl glared accusingly at Mikasa, crossing her arms over her chest. “I thought you were at the bakery, or kidnapped, or _something_ .”

“Sorry,” Mikasa muttered, ducking her head in slight shame. “I wanted to go with Levi to the forest. I didn’t want to wake you.” 

Isabel sighed and hugged her. “At least you’re safe.” Mikasa relaxed in the older girl's hold.

“Quail for dinner,” Levi interrupted, raising the bird that he had ensnared. “Make sure to cook it well, Isabel.”

Isabel’s face instantly lit up, and she giggled as she let go of Mikasa. “You’re not gonna tell Farlan to sell it to someone?” 

Mikasa looked at Levi pointedly, as if to prove a point. He shrugged. 

“It makes a good dinner.” 

Isabel took the quail from his hands, gently looping her fingers around the twine so as not to touch the bird directly. “With my cooking, it _definitely_ will,” she proclaimed confidently. “By the way, Mikasa, there’s a dress for you on the bed. Aunty put it there a while ago, said she’d been saving it for you.” 

Mikasa didn’t respond to Isabel’s statement, and instead dashed to the bed where her mother was lying. Kuchel met her with a smile, already anticipating the young girl’s excitement. She gestured towards the dress, and Mikasa beamed. 

It was a white dress that ended above her knees, the bodice adorned with lace. It was the kind of dress that Mikasa could only gaze at whenever she would pass by the tailor on the way to school. “Mom, this looks beautiful,” she said, awestruck. 

“I was going to give it to you when you turned twelve, just in time for the reaping,” Kuchel started, patting the dress down with her fingertips. “But something told me that you deserve to wear something nice today, instead of your usual jacket.” She winked. “It’s one of my own dresses from when I was your age.” 

Mikasa’s smile couldn’t get any wider as she felt the fabric underneath her fingertips. It was soft against her skin. The fact that her mother had worn the dress when she was Mikasa’s age made her feel even more connected to her mother. 

She finally allowed herself to speak, the smile still on her lips. “ Thanks mom, I’ll wear it now.” 

“Oh no you're not,” Levi said loudly from the kitchen. “You’re taking a bath first.” 

Kuchel laughed softly when Mikasa’s face fell. “Honey, your brother’s right. It’s okay, at least you’ll feel fresh when you put on the dress.”

Mikasa was out of the room immediately. She rushed to the back door, hastily opening it to find Farlan milking their sole goat. “Good morning Mikasa,” he greeted good-naturedly, but she had already run off to the shed. Farlan laughed before poking his head inside the house. “What’s with her?” he asked. 

“Leave her,” Levi replied as he sipped a cup of tea, an indulgence he allowed himself only on rare occasions. “That brat’s _finally_ gonna take a bath in the morning.”

* * *

Mikasa felt vibrant in her white dress. Her skin seemed to glow when she looked at herself in the mirror. She spun around, watching the fabric flow seamlessly, barely grazing the floor. 

“You look beautiful, Mika!” Isabel cooed, hugging the young girl from behind. Kuchel nodded in agreement from where she sat on the bed, smiling.

Isabel grabbed a worn-out brush and a comb. “Let me do your hair.” 

“Yes please,” Mikasa said politely, and Isabel laughed. 

“I guess the manners only come with the dress,” the older girl teased. A faint blush rose on Mikasa’s cheeks. 

Mikasa took in Isabel’s outfit as she pouted, slouching slightly. The older girl was wearing a blue, button down dress that accentuated her emerald eyes. Her hair was separated and tied into two pigtails, making her look younger than she actually was.

“You look beautiful too, Isabel,” Mikasa complimented, trying to divert the situation from herself. Mikasa’s attempt proved to be effective when she heard Isabel giggle. 

“Thank you Mika, I got it from you.” Isabel winked at her from the mirror’s reflection and Mikasa let out a tiny laugh. “No, _really.”_

Levi emerged from the back door looking like a different person. He forgoed his signature jacket in exchange for a white, long-sleeved shirt and slacks. The set was probably the nicest clothes he had, something he had been wearing since he was about thirteen years old. Farlan was dressed in something similar, and had even styled his unkempt hair clean for the occasion.

Soon, the family ate a brunch composed of milk from the goat and bread from the bakery. Mikasa had received two charred loaves from Armin two days ago, which she accepted with delight. With proper scraping, it turned out to be one of the best foods she had ever tasted in her entire life. Probably second to quail, if Mikasa was honest.

“We should get going soon,” Levi said, checking the clock. “Better to leave early so we can avoid the crowd.” 

“It’ll be crowded either way,” Isabel noted, rolling her eyes but moving to fix the plates anyway. She turned to Kuchel with a frown. “Aunty, do you really have to go? I think it’s best you stay inside.”

“No,” Kuchel replied, shaking her head. “I’d rather not risk any peacekeepers coming here to check up on me.”

Isabel didn’t reply, but the frown on her face deepened. Levi cursed under his breath as Farlan got up from his chair, a sorry attempt to disguise his crudeness. Mikasa still heard him, though.

Farlan took the plates from the table and placed it on the sink, pushing his sleeves back and preparing to help Isabel clean up the dishes. 

In only a matter of minutes, the entire family was up and ready to go. Farlan and Levi both stood by Kuchel’s side, ready to catch her should she ever falter. The walk towards the Hall of Justice was quick, but with Kuchel there, they had to leave a lot earlier compared to the other families. 

Mikasa held Isabel’s hand as they walked. The warmth in their house disappeared the moment they exited. All she could see now were faces drained of all emotion and lips moving in silent prayers, hoping that the reaping would be kind to them that very year. She squeezed Isabel’s hand tighter, and the older girl looked at her worriedly. 

“You okay Mika?” she whispered, and Mikasa nodded. Isabel was always so strong and brave. She wasn’t the type to get nervous or scared. “It’s okay,” Isabel continued, gently rubbing her thumb on the skin of Mikasa’s hand, “We’re gonna be fine.” 

Mikasa repeated those words in her head until they arrived at the square. There weren’t many people there yet, but her train of thought was effectively interrupted by a familiar voice. 

“Mikasa!” Armin called, and she turned around immediately to see the blond running towards her. Trailing behind him was his grandfather, the famous baker around town. Mikasa nervously shifted, looking up at Isabel and then towards Levi. 

Isabel sensed the young girl’s fear. “I got you, Mika,” she said in a hushed tone so that only Mikasa could hear. “Don’t worry, they won’t talk without me supervising.” Isabel winked.

Somehow, Mikasa's fears were appeased with those words. 

Armin was beaming brightly at her, a stark contrast to the faces of the people around them. 

“Good afternoon, Armin,” she greeted politely. She looked up at the baker, who smiled at her good-naturedly. "Good afternoon, Mr. Arlert."

“Hello Mikasa! Your dress looks very nice today!” Armin complimented nicely, and Mikasa returned the smile easily. 

“Thank you,” she said in appreciation. “You look nice also.”

Armin laughed, and Mikasa felt her heart lighten a lot just by hearing him. 

A lot more people began filing in. Soon, Levi, Farlan, and Isabel had to go with their respective age groups. Mikasa was left with Armin and Kuchel, and she held onto her mother’s hand tightly. Kuchel looked deathly pale. It gave Mikasa great happiness that Armin’s grandfather was there willingly to supervise all of them. 

Mikasa couldn’t see Levi anymore, but Isabel’s light brown head of hair and Farlan's blond locks stood out from the crowd. She stared at them as if her life depended on it. The town mayor, Dhalis Zachary, stood center stage. Beside him was the representative from the capitol, a young man named Erwin Smith. 

Farlan had always said that the people in the capitol looked odd, but there was nothing weird about Erwin Smith except for his exceptionally groomed appearance and thick, luscious eyebrows. He was wearing the typical three-piece suit in the shade of blue. While expensive, the fashion he sported was still relatively common even in some areas of District 12. 

On the mayor’s other side was Hange Zoë, District 12’s sole victor. She had only been sixteen when she won the 65th Hunger Games, making her the same age as Levi. Unlike Erwin, Hange didn’t look as if she had bothered to dress up for the occasion. She was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a dark leather jacket, as well as a pair of jeans. Hange was also wearing thin-rimmed goggles, which was different from the ones Mikasa used in the mines. 

_Glasses,_ Isabel had called it once. _So people can see better._

Mikasa had seen Hange sometimes at the Hob, on the very rare days Farlan would allow her to come with him. Hange was constantly making a ruckus with the way she screeched at the vendors, but her presence was a welcome one amongst the crowd. She was definitely a well-liked winner, and the celebration of her victory lasted about a week or so. Hange's lips were set in a permanent smile and her brown eyes were always bursting with glee.

However, the face she wore today looked as hopeless and desolate as the other faces Mikasa had seen in District 12. 

Erwin spoke into the microphone, and Mikasa couldn’t help but feel a sense of familiarity with his voice. She'd heard it every year ever since she was a young girl.

“Welcome. Happy Hunger Games, and _may the odds be ever in your favor._ Thank you all for _dedicating your heart.”_

He was succinct and straight to the point, announcing that there was going to be a message from the capitol. The feedback from the speakers blasted in Mikasa’s ears, and she looked at Armin, who had taken to covering his ears in surprise. 

Mikasa didn’t understand half of what was said in the video, but she tried to look as if she was listening attentively either way. None of this made sense to her, but she did know that the Hunger Games was there to ensure that there would always be peace. How brutally murdering each other in an arena could be considered as "peaceful" was beyond her. 

Soon, the video was over, and all the attention was drawn back to Erwin.

“Now, the time has come for us to select one courageous young man and woman to represent District 12 in the 67th Hunger Games. We will start with the women.” 

He moved over to the reaping bowl, and Mikasa held her breath automatically. Beside her, Armin did the same. 

The morning in the forest made her feel as if the reaping was so far away. However, now that she was here, standing in the middle of a crowd of people, her hand firmly gripping Kuchel as she tried her best to help support the older woman’s weight, Mikasa began feeling nervous even though her name wasn’t in the bowl. 

Slowly, Erwin put his hand inside the reaping bowl for women. Somewhere, Isabel’s name was there twice. His deft fingers slowly pulled out a name. He opened the piece of paper, and read out loudly, “Petra Ral.” 

Mikasa released the breath she had been holding. She felt Kuchel do the same, and she looked up at her mother. “Isabel’s safe,” Kuchel said, smiling. Mikasa nodded, squeezing her mother’s fingers. 

On the screen was a girl with short brown hair that barely reached her shoulders. Her eyes were wide in surprise, and her lips were trembling as she started to walk towards the stage. Petra arrived on stage after a few agonizing seconds, her face the very definition of haunted. 

“Thank you, Petra,” Erwin said shortly. Petra nodded silently, biting her lip.

Erwin continued, “Now then, let’s move to the men.” 

Mikasa held her breath for a second time, and she gripped Armin’s hand unknowingly. The young boy jumped in surprise, but soon clasped his fingers around hers comfortingly. 

Erwin shoved his hand inside the reaping bowl, fishing for a single piece of paper. 

_Forty-two pieces with Levi’s name on it. Three pieces with Farlan’s._

Mikasa felt Kuchel’s hand tighten around hers, and she did her best to look calm and collected for her mother’s sake. She tried to look as if she wasn’t fearing for the worst. 

The silence was deafening. Her heart was beating against her chest and her breathing was starting to quicken. Mikasa could feel her pulse pumping in her ears and on the sides of her head; it was an erratic pattern that she wished Armin wouldn’t be able to hear.

Erwin opened the paper. 

“Levi Ackerman.” 

* * *

_**snapshots from the districts -** mikasa ackerman, 11 years old _


	2. part ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Mikasa takes everything one step at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys like this chapter !! i really REALLY worked hard on it ahehe

They say that when a body enters a state of shock, the world goes silent and the sound of one’s pounding heart is the only thing the brain can hear. 

The silence that followed the name “Levi Ackerman,” however, was not because Mikasa had gone deaf due to her surprise. The hush that had befallen the crowd was very _much_ real. It is built upon the contrast of silent sympathy and quiet relief after having been spared by yet another year in the Hunger Games. Mikasa knows this all too well. She’d felt it many times before. 

Mikasa could feel her fingers start shaking as her mouth steadily opened to release a soundless scream. 

Kuchel was starting to turn pale. Mikasa shifted her gaze from her mother to Levi’s face. He was glaring at the camera, eyes magnified on the large monitor.

When the shock finally registered, Mikasa saw Kuchel fall into Grandpa Arlert’s arms. Suddenly, her shouts are no longer silent. The cameras are still on Levi, but his facial expression had already changed from annoyance to anger and concern as he whipped his head around to look for her. 

“Mikasa!” he shouted. She sees him running towards them, pushing past the people in the square in search of her. 

She could feel Armin’s grip on her arm tighten, the boy standing protectively over her as she screamed her throat out, tears escaping her eyes at a rapid rate. 

“It’s okay, Mikasa,” Armin’s grandfather told her as he supported Kuchel’s weight, “she’s still breathing. She was probably just surprised.” 

But the tears don’t stop even when she feels Isabel hold her, or when she sees Farlan pat Armin gently on the head as thanks.

Levi never does reach them. 

Peacekeepers blocked his path. Two of them had taken the man by the arms, their tall figures dragging him towards the stage. Mikasa can see Levi gritting his teeth and trying his best not to curse his head off, and she knew that it was more for them than for him; if he were killed on the spot, their family would suffer and starve to death. 

_This is unfair,_ she thought in anger. This was Levi’s last year in the reaping. He was supposed to be free after that. _As free as one could get in District 12, anyway._

Mikasa broke away from Isabel and Armin’s hold. She could hear them shouting her names but she didn’t care, didn’t even dare look back. Mikasa slid past the barrier and inched her tiny form through the crowd, and suddenly groups of teenagers were parting for her like she was Moses and they were the sea. 

Her scratchy voice managed to make out her brother’s name, and she’s shouting “Levi!” over and over again as she cried. When he saw her, he snarled. 

“Stay back, _brat!”_ He shouted, but made no attempt to wrench his way out of the peacekeeper’s grip. No matter how strong Levi was, they were no use against people armed with guns, after all. 

Mikasa didn’t stop.

She narrowly avoided one of the peacekeepers' grasp to launch herself towards her brother. In a split-second, Mikasa barely registered that they were already at the base of the stage. She fell at the stairs, her knees crumbling underneath her as her palms met the cemented floor. 

Mikasa could see Erwin looking at her, and she stared back at him, gray eyes pleading to the blonde man. “Please don’t make him go,” Mikasa begged.

But Levi was already on stage. His hands were turned into fists and his eyes were next-to-murderous as he glared at the men who manhandled him, but he made no move to exit the stage or run away. 

Soon, there is a gentle hand on top of Mikasa’s head and she stills. 

It was only then that she realized where she was. Her white dress was already tarnished with dirt, and her sleek hair was sticking to the sides of her cheeks due to her sweat and tears. 

“Mikasa’s your name, right?” 

Mikasa turned her head to the side slowly, and was met with none other than Hange Zoë. The young girl rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, a few tiny tears escaping her eyes. Briefly, she nodded, suddenly self-aware of her sudden burst of hysteria. 

Hange is taller than both Levi _and_ Farlan. The woman knelt to her height and smiled gently, transferring the hand she had placed on Mikasa’s head to the child’s shoulder. “You’re very brave,” she whispered, as though telling her a secret. Mikasa is reminded that they are in the middle of the crowd and were most likely being taped. “Go back to your family now, okay?” she continued, gently.

Mikasa frowned, but when she opened her mouth to speak, Erwin beat her to it. His voice is loud as he billowed to the microphone. _“Ladies and gentlemen, Levi Ackerman and Petra Ral, District 12’s tributes for this year’s Hunger Games!”_

The decision was final and Mikasa was sure that she was going to lose Levi. The young girl forced her gaze towards Hange, refusing to allow the image of her brother on the stage—hopeless and angry—to burn in her mind. Instead, she chose to observe the way Hange looked at her with such compassion and care, the slightest glimmer of hope in her amber eyes magnified by thick lenses. Mikasa is stunned by the victor’s kindness, but she sniffs and nods all the same. 

The anthem started to play. Hange stood, pulling Mikasa up with her. The young girl blinked back tears and stood at attention automatically. It lasted for one minute, but to Mikasa, it felt like hours.

“Will Levi die?” she asked Hange the moment the anthem stopped playing. Her voice sounded tiny and weak, and Mikasa hated it. She was incredibly tired of being so _fragile_ in this cruel world.

Hange doesn’t answer the question immediately. Instantly, Mikasa knew that the woman wasn’t the type of person to make promises she couldn’t keep, even if it was just to appease a young girl’s pained heart. 

Mikasa flinched visibly as she felt a new wave of pain blossom in her chest. 

Hange took her small hands and placed them in between her long fingertips. “I can say that he’ll try not to,” she said firmly, as she ran her thumb over Mikasa’s hand. It was a gesture only Isabel knew could calm her. 

The woman’s fingers are long and her fingertips are calloused, Mikasa noticed, but they give her all the comfort she needs. “I’ll see you soon.”

Hange stood up to her full height after she kindly patted down the young girl’s skirt and gently tucked in a few stray strands of hair behind Mikasa’s ear. Mikasa gripped the back of Hange’s shirt, and the latter smiled. The victor didn’t leave her side even when Mikasa turned around to start her walk of shame amidst the parting crowd. 

Hange’s presence is calming, and it gave Mikasa the smallest sense of pride to be walking beside such a powerful woman. Hange flashed all of the peacekeeper's small smiles, as if daring them to approach her. Mikasa’s hold on Hange’s shirt never wavered. She clutched it tighter, and Hange pulled her closer in response. 

Farlan’s arms were wide open when they arrived, and she ran to him immediately, burying her face at the side of his neck. Kuchel and Isabel were no longer with him. For a moment, she felt panic, but realized that Grandpa Arlert had probably evacuated them to safety. 

Armin was there, though, and he stood beside Farlan loyally. Mikasa reached blindly for the young blond, eyes still closed and sore from tears. Armin held her tiny hands between his warm ones without hesitation. Mikasa had never felt _this_ broken. She felt like such a child at this moment, and not the independent girl she had strived to be at the mines. 

Mikasa could feel the vibrations of Farlan’s voice when he talked. “Thanks Hange,” he told the woman sincerely. At that moment, Mikasa realized that Farlan was probably the reason why Hange had known her, and had so kindly escorted her back to him with relative ease.

“No problem,” she heard Hange reply. 

“I feel so stupid,” Farlan said, and Mikasa’s grip on him tightened. “I could’ve volunteered. I should’ve, but I—” 

“Let me stop you right there,” Hange interrupted, and Mikasa could hear such _kindness_ from her voice despite the firmness of her tone. “That’s not something your brother would have wanted.” Hange paused, as if to allow them to take in the information. “He could’ve easily fought back, you know. I’m sure those peacekeepers wouldn’t be able to handle a man trained by the woods. But he didn’t, and it’s because he knew that if he did something wrong, then he would’ve died before he even entered the games. What would happen to you then?” 

Farlan didn’t reply, so Hange continued. 

“There’s still a chance for Levi to win. It’s slim, but at least he can still try. I think he would’ve hated it if _you_ had to go there. Isn’t _he_ the one doing all of those kills?”

“Will you help him win?” Mikasa heard Armin ask. 

Hange sighed. “I have two people to protect, and there is only one winner. I don’t like making the choice because I know both of them deserve to live. I will give _both_ of them enough advice to help them win. Whether or not they do is up to them.”

“Can we still see Levi?” Farlan inquired, the lightest touch of hope in his voice. 

Hange nodded. “He’s inside the justice building now. The next hour is allotted for the tributes to receive goodbyes from their families. I can take you inside now, but . . .” Farlan tightened his hold on Mikasa, and she squeezed back reassuringly. “I suggest you get Isabel and your mother soon so that they can also see him.” 

“I can get Isabel!” Armin volunteered. “You and Farlan go on ahead, Mikasa.” 

“What d’you say, kid?” Farlan asked, and Mikasa nodded. 

* * *

When Farlan and Mikasa entered the room, Levi was sitting on a grandiose couch decorated with fine gems. The quarters was a rich place covered with thick, deep carpets and couch and chairs made out of a luxurious material Mikasa didn’t even know the name of. 

Even though they were clothed with their best outfits, Mikasa couldn't help but feel as if their small family was still out of place.

Levi was not one for hugs, but the moment Mikasa ran to him with her arms wide open, he reciprocated the gesture. He held her small body close to him as Farlan walked towards the two of them, settling beside Levi on the couch and patting Mikasa’s back affectionately. 

“I’m sorry,” Mikasa whispered, and Levi shook his head. 

“You gave those overweight peacekeepers one hell of a chase, you little _brat.”_ Farlan chuckled. Levi turned to the boy, his eyebrows knitted in concern, “Where’s mother?” he asked Farlan, and the other boy shook his head. 

“She fainted when you were called. Don’t worry, she’s alive. Grandpa Arlert and Isabel took her to Dr. Jaeger immediately.” 

“I see.” 

Unfortunately, there was no time to worry or panic. Soon, Levi was talking, listing off tasks for Farlan to do and ways to get by without Levi hunting. Farlan nodded dutifully, eyes set as he readied himself to take on the responsibility of being head of the household.“If you need any help,” Levi said, “Don’t hesitate to ask _anyone_ for it." 

Farlan chuckled. “I thought you hated doing that.” 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” 

“You’ll come back, won’t you?” Mikasa whispered, finally trusting herself enough to speak. Remembering Hange’s words, she added: “Or at least you’ll try?”

Levi pulled her back from their embrace, and she could see his sapphire eyes boring into hers. “If it means getting back to you guys, then I will.” 

Mikasa sighed in relief, and Levi flicked her bangs, his fingers grazing the skin behind it. She glared at him good-naturedly. “That hurt,” she told him, rubbing her fingers over the sore spot in the middle of her forehead.

“That’s for going to the mines without asking for permission.” 

Mikasa’s eyes widened, and she looked at Farlan almost accusingly. The boy shrugged. 

“What, you thought we didn’t know?” he asked playfully. “We’re your brothers, Mika. We can tell when you’re lying. Also,” Farlan winked. “Grandpa Arlert was terribly confused when we asked him how you were doing in the bakery.” 

She hung her head down in dismay. “I’m sorry. I wanted to help out, and I’m not . . . the bakery isn’t . . .” she trailed off, not wanting to defend herself further. 

Farlan laughed, and Mikasa felt a hand patting her affectionately on the head. Levi was smirking at her. “I don’t understand how a blood relative of mine could like working in such a dump.” 

“You’re not mad?” Mikasa asked. 

“Hannes supervises you, and he said you’re doing great,” Levi responded. 

Mikasa’s cheeks turned red in slight embarrassment. All those times she had rushed home to take a bath seemed wasted. Hannes didn't even tell her that Levi knew, probably to conserve what little pride or dignity she had left.

Levi continued, “You did good, but you’re still a _brat._ Try not to die when you’re there.” 

Despite the hopelessness of the situation, and the sadness of having to let her brother go, Mikasa’s face instantly lit up as she nodded eagerly.

“I won’t die," she told him firmly. "I’ll help out around the house and help bring food on the table.” 

Farlan nudged Levi’s side teasingly. “And when you come back, we will live in a nice house and you won’t have to worry about anything ever again. We’d be neighbors with Hange, as weird as it sounds.” 

Levi was about to open his mouth to reply when Isabel tossed the doors open, running inside and flinging herself onto the three teenagers. It was Farlan who caught a majority of her weight.

Isabel’s arms are around them all, and she is _livid._

“I can’t _believe_ this,” she said angrily. Tears were flowing freely from her eyes. “Why did it have to be this way? Why did it have to be you?” 

“There’s no explanation for that aside from _the odds are in my favor_ ,” Levi replied dryly as he placed his hand on Isabel’s shoulder. “It was either me or some other unlucky boy.” 

“You better win this, Levi,” Isabel hissed, pulling away. “If you don’t, I will _never_ forgive you.” 

“I’ll try.” 

“There is no try!” Isabel shouted. “The moment you hesitate, they’ll kill you! You will _**die!**_ "

Mikasa flinched. Her immediate reaction was to hug Isabel, so she did so, wrapping her tiny arms around the other girl's waist. Farlan attempted to placate the girl by whispering “Now, now, Isabel,” over and over again like a mantra.

“You have to put it in your head that you can win!” she continued angrily. Isabel exhaled, and when she spoke once more, her voice was barely above a whisper. “You have to come back.”

Levi sighed and opened his mouth to reply, but Isabel was not yet finished. “Promise us, Levi. Promise us you’ll come back.” 

“What if I can’t keep it?” Levi said quietly. 

Isabel stopped her tirade. Mikasa closed her eyes and bit her lip, hugging Isabel tighter. 

“If I die, you have to learn how to survive by yourselves,” Levi continued. “Best you start learning now.” 

Silence fell upon all of them. Farlan pulled all of them into a huge group hug, and for the first time, Levi is a willing participant. Isabel is still sobbing angrily beside Mikasa, and Farlan is running a hand on Isabel's back in a pathetic attempt to calm her down. Levi’s grip on them is strong, as if he knew that it would be the last time he would ever hold them. 

They stayed like that until the peacekeepers pulled them apart and pushed all of them (except Levi) out.

* * *

Mikasa fell asleep on the way home. She allowed the entirety of her body weight to relax onto Farlan’s back as he carried her.

She was tired. 

When Mikasa woke up, it was already night. She was lying on the bed but wasn’t in danger of falling off. She blinked, allowing her eyes to get accustomed to the candle light. 

“Hey,” Isabel whispered as she ran a hand through Mikasa’s dark locks. Mikasa turned to face her, burying her face into Isabel’s chest and biting back the sadness that enveloped her being as she remembered the events of the day prior. 

“Welcome back, you little _brat.”_

If things were normal, Mikasa would’ve laughed at Isabel’s horrible imitation of Levi. Unfortunately, things were _not._ Mikasa snuggled closer to Isabel, and the brown-haired girl wrapped an arm over her. 

She could hear the sounds of Farlan’s soft snores from where he lay on the floor. 

“Where’s mom?” were the first words Mikasa spoke. Her voice sounds horrible: it’s scratchy, hoarse, and monotone.

“She’s still with Dr. Jaeger,” Isabel answered. “It’s just us for now.”

“Do you think we’ll be okay?” Mikasa dared to ask. 

Isabel takes a while to reply. 

“We’ll be fine.” 

* * *

Life without Levi is difficult. While Farlan constantly left the television on at night to watch the preliminaries, Isabel would close her eyes and refuse to watch. She chose to face the wall and grumble angrily. At first, Mikasa would choose to sit beside Farlan on the floor to watch with him. However, as the Games drew closer, she made the decision to cuddle next to Isabel and allow the older girl to hold her and play with her dark locks just like her mother did. 

It’s not much comfort, but they made do. 

Every day since Levi left, Mikasa found herself en route to Dr. Jaeger’s house. On the first day, she brought with her the quail they had cooked that morning for breakfast (the three of them had skipped dinner the night before; after all, there was nothing to celebrate) as well as a few coins that Farlan had given her.

“Give it to Dr. Jaeger,” He had said as he milked their goat. “He’s been very kind to us.”

It wasn’t hard to find Dr. Jaeger’s house. It was well-off when compared to their dilapidated one near the seam, but Mikasa knew better. There were no luxuries in District 12, even for those who seemed rich. 

When Mikasa arrived, she knocked on the door softly. She was feeling a bit apprehensive to go, considering that none of her older siblings were with her, but Mikasa figured the experience would be part of her journey to adulthood. 

It’s Carla Jaeger who greeted her. Mikasa couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of warmth from the woman. Carla beamed instantly when she saw Mikasa, and the young girl returned it with a small smile of her own.

“Hello dear,” Carla greeted. 

“Hello,” Mikasa responded kurtly. She held out the food in her hand, as if in offerance.

Confusion flashed on Carla’s face for a brief moment. “What’s this?” the woman asked. 

Her voice is calm and soothing, Mikasa noticed. Carla took the package from her tiny hands and sniffed it. “Oh, it’s quail! Are you one of Kuchel’s children, then?” 

Mikasa nodded. Mentally, she scolded herself for not introducing herself first. “My name is Mikasa. I am eleven years old and will be turning twelve next year,” she told Carla. “It’s very nice to meet you.” 

“Likewise, dear,” Carla replied. She pulled the door open and stood to the side. “Come in, come in,” she urged the young girl. “You’re the same age as my son. You should meet him!”

Mikasa nodded for a second time. “Sure.” 

Carla smiled. “Eren! Come here, I have a friend for you.” 

That name was eerily familiar. _Eren._ Mikasa tested it out in her mind, her brows furrowed in confusion. Eren, Eren, Eren. Where did she hear that name before? 

A head popped out from one of the rooms, and the information finally clicked. Mikasa made eye contact with a boy who possessed such prominent emerald eyes and chestnut hair. Eren pointed a finger at her accusingly, but all Mikasa could do was stare at him in response. 

“You!” Eren exclaimed, jumping out from where he was standing and into the living room. “What are you doing here?” 

“Eren,” Carla chided, lightly slapping the kid’s pointed index finger. “You’re being rude. This is Mikasa, and she is our patient’s daughter. Be nice.”

“Oh,” Eren said, tilting his head in both confusion and understanding. Mikasa scrunched her eyebrows at his sudden change of character.

“I can take you to her," Eren offered, giving her an uncertain smile. 

“Thank you,” Mikasa said, doing her best to maintain her own shaky smile. “Sorry for intruding.” 

Carla smiled proudly as she closed the door. “You kids have fun while I take the quail to the dining room. Maybe you’d want to have lunch with us also, Mikasa?”

Mikasa was about to say, ‘No thank you, Mrs. Jaeger,’ but the rumbling in her stomach preceded her. 

Carla chuckled. “I’ll add an additional plate. We’re having potatoes, it’ll go well with your quail!” 

“Thank you, Mrs. Jaeger,” Mikasa said honestly. 

“Anytime, dear.” 

Eren gestured for her to follow him, and they entered a small room that looked like a bathroom. “This is protocol,” he said, and Mikasa looked at him curiously. “Wash your hands before entering the room and make sure to take off your shoes here. It’s minor, but dad says he doesn’t want to risk anything.” 

“Okay,” Mikasa responded shortly. 

She took off her shoes but left her socks on, simply because she was more comfortable with the garments covering her feet. She stuck her hands under the faucet and allowed the water to rinse off whatever dirt was in between her fingers.

“Sorry for snapping at you,” Eren told her honestly as he washed his own hands. “I thought you were gonna rat me out. That you saw me at the mines, I mean.”

“Oh. No,” Mikasa said, shaking her head. “I also couldn’t tell my family that.” 

“Great.” Eren smiled, flicking water off of his hands. “That makes two of us. Follow me, your mother is inside resting. My dad’s away right now, probably getting medicine somewhere, but he’ll be back in time for lunch.” 

Eren opened the door to a well-lit room that had eight beds. It was bigger than what Mikasa expected—in fact, the space allotted for the patients was bigger than where Eren and his family lived. Kuchel is lying on the bed nearest the window, beside an old lady who was eating a few grapes. 

Mikasa ran to her mother immediately with Eren in tow. She settled herself on the chair beside her mother, eyes brimming with unshed tears. Kuchel’s eyes had opened the moment she heard Mikasa scurry on the wooden floor, already memorizing her own daughter’s tiny footsteps. 

“Good morning, Mikasa,” Kuchel greeted. The woman’s hands were shaking as she reached out to touch her daughter’s cheek. “How are you today?” 

“I’m okay, mom,” Mikasa replied. “The question is: how are _you?”_

She leaned into her mother’s touch. Kuchel’s hands were cold. 

“Better, darling. Sorry for worrying you.” Mikasa shook her head, signalling that it was okay, she didn’t mind getting concerned. “Were you able to talk to Levi?” 

“Yes,” Mikasa said. She paused, hesitant to delve into such a difficult conversation. “He’s okay.”

“Your brother is a gentle man, darling,” Kuchel whispered, closing her eyes. “He hates hurting anyone, and would never hurt a single strand of hair on a human’s head . . . much less . . . _kill.”_

Kuchel’s voice was trembling, and Mikasa placed a hand atop her mother’s on her cheek. “Don’t think about it too much, mom,” Mikasa told her softly, willing herself to be strong. “You’re going to stress yourself out, and brother will be more worried about you.” 

Kuchel tried to smile. “Yes, you’re right. Thank you, darling. This old woman is lucky to have such caring children.” 

Mikasa stayed there for about an hour. Eren had taken the liberty of assisting the elderly woman beside Kuchel in eating. In the brief moments that Kuchel would have to pause to inhale and exhale slowly, Mikasa heard the young boy engaged in conversation about the _ocean,_ and how much he wanted to see it. She found it weird because District 12 was far from the nearest port. People didn’t have money to travel for necessities, much less for leisure. 

Carla pulled her away from her mother when she signalled for lunch. Mikasa hopped off the chair, her feet making a light _thump_ as her soles met the wooden floor. 

“Take care, mom,” Mikasa said, wrapping her arms around Kuchel’s form. “I’ll come visit tomorrow. I’m sorry Farlan and Isabel couldn’t make it. Isabel said not to worry about the household and Farlan said not to worry about the food.” 

“It’s okay darling,” Kuchel replied. “I’m happy you’re all so responsible. I know how busy they are now that your brother is away.” 

Her words were interrupted by a series of coughs, and Mikasa patted her back compassionately. Once the fit was over, Kuchel continued, “You should get going soon too. Tell Grandpa Arlert how grateful I am for him Armin, okay? He’s raised a very lovely boy.” 

Mikasa nodded in agreement. Armin was definitely one of a kind.

“Let’s go, Mikasa,” Eren called. He beamed at Kuchel and waved goodbye to the old lady beside her. “I’ll see you later Aunt Kuchel.” 

Mikasa kissed her mother’s cheek as Kuchel smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow mama.”

“Goodbye dear, take care.” 

Mikasa bid Kuchel goodbye and ran to where Eren stood. The boy grinned as he opened the door to the bathroom-like room. “Dad’s here already, and he bought some sweets from the bakery. He said you’d probably want some.” 

A small crease appeared in between Mikasa’s eyebrows as she scrunched her face in slight confusion. Having been born in a family barely making ends meet, sweets (and other food eaten for leisure) were something that she barely received, even with Armin as a friend. She wondered how the family could be so kind to offer her such luxuries.

Dr. Jaeger and Carla were already seated on the table when Mikasa and Eren entered the room, their hands freshly washed. Eren immediately hopped on a chair, but Mikasa stayed behind, uncertain. 

“Go on dear,” Carla urged, patting the seat beside Eren. “You can sit here, let’s eat.” 

Mikasa shyly followed through with the request. When she sat down, Mikasa made sure to keep her arms close to her body, her hands on top of her skirt as she stared at the plate lying in front of her.

Carla piled mashed potatoes on Mikasa’s plate. The child looked up at her in confusion and slight embarrassment. Mikasa wasn’t the type of person to intrude (something that she had picked up from her older brother), so she wasn’t used to receiving such kindness from other people aside from Armin and his grandfather. 

“You’re really thin,” Carla told her, “It’d be better if you eat more.” 

“She’s right, you know,” Dr. Jaeger said, speaking for the first time. “If you want to stay healthy, you need to make sure that you get enough. Then again,” his voice shifted, but there was no hint of malice in his gentle tone, only concern. “There isn’t much food to go around the Seam, is there?”

Mikasa shook her head. “No,” she replied sadly. “There isn’t a lot.” 

“Then eat!” Eren told her, nudging her with his elbow. “The quail is really good. Here.” He put a piece of his own serving on her plate. Mikasa was about to protest, but Eren shook his head. “Eat, Mikasa.” 

From Mikasa’s periphery, she saw Carla share a small smile with Dr. Jaeger. What it meant, she had no idea, but if Eren was going to show her kindness, then who was she to intrude. 

Mikasa took her utensil and filled it with a heaping spoonful of mashed potatoes. It was well-cooked and still warm, and the heat flooded her taste buds. It was _delicious,_ and could definitely rival Isabel’s cooking. She immediately went for another bite. 

“Is it good?” Carla asked. Mikasa nodded fervently, not wanting to risk being rude and talking while her mouth was full. 

Dr. Jaeger laughed. “You should eat lunch with us more often then, Mikasa,” he said, “I’m sure Eren would love the company.” 

* * *

Compared to Levi, Farlan wasn’t a very good hunter. His kills were much messier, the animals a lot bloodier. Isabel did what she could to clean, but it resulted in much smaller pieces of meat. 

Nevertheless, Mikasa would take what she had and bring them over to Dr. Jaeger’s house. The two older siblings were happy that Mikasa had found a new friend her own age that wasn’t Armin, and encouraged her to take the invitations as long as she would bring something over to compensate for her intrusion. Carla would always find a way to incorporate Isabel’s cooking into their meals. 

For the first time, Mikasa found herself eating a healthy three meals a day. 

She would accompany her mother in the late afternoons, which Kuchel appreciated. Eren would sometimes join her when the old lady beside Kuchel was asleep. He would smile and make faces to induce laughter from Kuchel, which Mikasa was incredibly grateful for. 

Mikasa had also stopped working at the mines (much to Eren’s chagrin). She still received money from Hannes, which had been an accumulated sum of her services.

Often, she would find herself watching snippets of the games in the Jaeger household. While Mikasa wasn’t able to see Levi’s outfit during the parade, she was proud to say that (in Farlan’s words) her brother did “ _not_ look like shit.” Apparently, Levi had rejected any and all forms of coal on his body. This was something that definitely challenged the stylists. 

There was also a segment wherein the Gamemakers had to grade each tribute through a scale of 12. Levi had garnered a score of 6 from the Game Makers, which, according to Farlan, was neither good nor high. Meanwhile, Petra had gotten a higher score of 8.

What it meant or entailed as something Mikasa didn’t really understand. 

She regretted not being able to watch Levi’s grand entrance, so Mikasa made the choice to sit beside Farlan instead of cuddling beside Isabel when the interview portions with Peaure were being shown on television. Peaure was a dark-haired man who looked younger than his actual age, and he was incredibly passionate when it came to quizzing the districts.

Mikasa found it hard to memorize all of the people. However, there were some that struck her because of their straightforward answers. There was a boy named Marcel from District 2 who had volunteered willingly to join the Hunger Games _and_ had gotten the highest score from the Gamemakers. A girl named Hannah who hailed from District 10 wept openly as she was being interviewed, claiming that her lover was someone who had died in one of the previous Hunger Games. 

And then there was Petra, whose beautiful gown was as dark as night. Her hair and eyes were the only touch of color on her body. Mikasa’s mouth had widened when she saw Petra. The girl looked positively radiant on stage; a far-cry from her introduction during the reaping. Petra’s nervous smile instantly won the audience as they cheered her entry. 

“So, Petra,” Peaure started, his signature smile already on his face, “How was the journey to the Capitol? I sure hope you enjoyed it.” 

Petra smiled brightly, and the audience gave a collective hum. Even Mikasa found herself with a small grin. “It was _wonderful_ Peaure,” she responded. “I really enjoyed the food.” 

The conversation continued on with Peaure quizzing Petra about her favourite food, as well as what food she normally ate while in District 12. 

Levi was the last person to be interviewed. Farlan hooted as Levi appeared on screen, wearing a sleek black suit with a red tie. His hair was styled the same way, and Mikasa wondered how much the stylist had to say as to how Levi was going to present himself to the public that night. 

“Levi! Great to meet you,” Peaure greeted, beaming. “How are you today?” 

“Shit, like always,” Levi said nonchalantly. Farlan laughed, clapping his hand on his tie. 

Peaure hesitated for a bit in surprise, but wasn’t entirely fazed. “I see. Is the Capital not up to your standards?”

“It’s cleaner here,” Levi answered stoically. “It’s not bad.” 

“That means it’s good!” a voice from the audience shouted, and the camera focused on Hange. 

The audience laughed, and Hange waved at them, the grin on her face wide. Mikasa’s mouth gaped open, and she and Farlan made eye contact swiftly. Even Isabel had sat up from her bed in surprise. 

“Shut up, _shitty-glasses,”_ Levi retorted, glaring at her from the stage. 

Peaure laughed. “Not one for dirt, I see. I did notice this when you showed up without a single speck of coal on your outfit. This is, as you know, ironic since you’re from District 12, which specializes in coal.”

Levi huffed, as if talking was the most difficult thing in the world for him. “I guess. I don’t like dirt.” 

“Let’s move on from this discussion,” Peaure said, trying to delve into a topic that Levi would be more interested in. “That girl who chased you to the stage, that was your sister, wasn’t she? What’s her name?”

Farlan swung an arm around Mikasa’s shoulder. The child’s cheeks were already starting to turn red from embarrassment. Isabel patted her head in comfort. 

“Yeah,” Levi replied shortly. “She is. Her name’s Mikasa. She’s eleven.” 

Her cheeks were turning warmer and warmer by the second. 

“It’s okay Mika, you’re famous now!” Farlan told her, laughing. Mikasa shook her head, already hating the attention. 

Peaure nodded in understanding. “She must've been so worried. Tell me, Levi, do you have any other family members back in District 12? Did they say anything to you after the reaping?” 

“Yeah. They told me to win.” 

“And what did you say?” Peaure probed. 

“I swore I’d try.” 

Mikasa could almost hear a pin drop in the silence that followed. 

* * *

Kuchel wasn’t getting better. 

Dr. Jaeger had pulled Mikasa aside one day, asking her where Farlan and Isabel were. “Farlan is . . . somewhere,” she said carefully, not wanting to disclose that he was probably out hunting. “Isabel is at home taking care of the house.” 

“Tell them to visit soon,” Dr. Jaeger told her, and Mikasa nodded. “Your mother is . . . not doing very well.” 

“What happened?” Mikasa whispered softly, trying to look stronger than she looked. 

“I’ve done the best I can,” Dr. Jaeger said, shaking his head. “She’s not responding very well to the medication. Best you guys say your goodbyes properly. I’m sorry, Mikasa.” 

Mikasa felt like she wanted a hole to open up underneath her and swallow the entirety of her body. She bowed her head down low, and Dr. Jaeger pulled her in for a hug. 

“I’ll tell Eren to come with you,” the doctor stated firmly, leaving no room for argument. 

Mikasa nodded silently. 

The walk back to her house was one of the most difficult treks she’d ever experienced. Her chest felt like it was on fire, but no matter how much she willed it, the tears wouldn’t come. 

Levi was already inside the arena, but glimpses of him were rare because he had mostly kept to himself. Farlan said that the environment itself served in his favor, since it was mostly forest. There had been a bloodbath in the cornucopia on the first day. She was honestly just incredibly grateful that Levi had survived and had gotten through the first hurdle with ease. 

It gave her the tiniest bit of hope that Levi would be coming back. 

But now, Kuchel wasn’t doing well and was so close to death she had to go back home to fetch Isabel and Farlan immediately. 

Mikasa stopped in her tracks. Her chest was burning and her stomach was churning. She wanted to puke and cry at the same time, but the only thing that she could register was pain. Mikasa bent down, cradling her stomach as her knees met the ground. 

“Mikasa?” Eren called, confused. “Are you okay?” 

Mikasa nodded her head. “Yeah, just . . . give me a bit.” 

Eren didn’t reply, but he stayed beside her side and patted her back awkwardly. It was a disappointing gesture, but Mikasa appreciated it all the same. 

“You need to get your siblings now,” Eren reminded. Slowly, Mikasa pushed herself back up. 

“Yes,” she murmured, and began walking. 

The house was not silent when they arrived. The television was playing, with Peaure and Roy as the main hosts. They were talking beside each other, narrating the game’s highlights. Mikasa could hear the distant sound of running water. Isabel was probably washing clothes. 

Mikasa pushed the door open, and was met with Farlan’s quizzical stare. Behind her, Eren stood politely, not wanting to intrude. 

“Farlan,” she murmured, leaning on the door. “Mommy’s . . . Dr. Jaeger . . .” 

Farlan’s eyes widened in understanding, and he jumped from his seat, calling for Isabel. The girl entered the house in annoyance. 

“What?” Isabel asked. The girl’s fists were on her waists. “I was washing your dirty clothes.” 

Mikasa looked at Isabel, her eyes haunted. “Mommy’s—” 

* * *

The woods wasn’t the same without Levi.

Mikasa leaned on the tree where Levi had told her to stay the morning of the games, her eyes finally shedding the tears she had repressed. She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the front of her shirt. 

It was already a week and a half into the games, and Levi was still alive, somewhere. For some reason, Petra had taken to sticking to him, and they had formed some sort of alliance. 

She didn’t cry a single tear when Kuchel died. Her mother had looked at peace with Isabel, Farlan, and Mikasa by her side. Mikasa didn’t know how Levi would react if he came home to find their mother gone from the world.

The child sniffled, burying her face in the space between her knees. What was she going to do now? Should she go back to the mines to work? 

“Hey, this isn’t a place for a kid, y’know!” 

She looked up to find a girl her age staring down at her. The girl’s hair was tied in a ponytail, and her eyes were a matching shade of dark brown. Attached to her back was a quiver filled with arrows, and she was holding a bow in her left hand. 

Mikasa glared at the girl, and the latter flinched. “Sorry,” the girl sputtered. “It’s just, it’s rare to find people here! Nice to meet you though. My name’s Sasha Blaus.” 

“What are you doing here?” Mikasa asked sharply. 

“What am I— _I’m_ the one who’s supposed to ask you that!” Sasha replied, waving her arms around frantically. “You might be a ghost, or _something.”_

“I’m not a ghost,” Mikasa told her. “I’m human. My name is Mikasa.” 

Sasha poked her shoulder. “Okay yeah, you seem pretty real to me.” 

Mikasa sighed. _What a silly girl_ , she thought, leaning on the bark of the tree. 

“So why are you crying?” Sasha asked, plopping down next to her. “You can tell me all about it, if you want. Or not. I’ll stay here with you though. I’ll even give you half of this potato.” 

Sasha was talking rapidly, barely even giving the other girl a chance to reply. By the time Mikasa had an answer to Sasha’s question, the latter was already shoving a potato her way. 

Which, Mikasa noted, was the smaller half. 

Sasha grinned, and Mikasa took it, grateful for the girl’s sudden but not unwelcome presence. 

“Thanks, Sasha.” 

* * *

Mikasa found herself spending more time with Sasha in the woods. Sasha was a skilled hunter, and she had taken it upon herself to teach Mikasa how to wield the bow and arrow. It was a great distraction for her, especially since Kuchel’s passing. Sasha was loud and boisterous, but Mikasa knew she meant well. 

Mikasa had no reason to eat lunch at the Jaeger's household now, since her mother was already gone. She was still welcome, according to Carla, but she didn’t want to overstay her welcome. One time, she got Eren to come along with her to the woods, when the boy had finally stopped complaining about not being able to work at the mines. 

“How’s the games, by the way?” Sasha asked in passing, as she shot at the bark of one of the trees absently. “Isn’t your brother like the district’s tribute or something?” 

“He’s still alive,” Mikasa replied as she pulled out Sasha’s bow from the tree and handed it back to her. “Isabel doesn’t really like to watch, and I don’t either. At least, not anymore. I keep on being scared for him.” 

“Isn’t there like three people left now? And the other girl is gone?” 

Mikasa nodded grimly. Petra had lost her life just a day prior. 

Silence fell on the two girls as Sasha passed her bow wordlessly to Mikasa. The girl took it willingly, the feeling of the crafted shaft in between her fingers still foreign to her own touch. Sasha handed her an arrow. Like they had practiced, Mikasa placed the arrow’s fletching against the bowstring, pulling it back and anchoring it against her cheek. 

“Good,” Sasha complimented. “You learn fast.” 

Mikasa exhaled, closing her eyes and opening both at the same time. Sasha had told her that the whole “close one eye when you shoot” thing wasn’t for everyone, and Mikasa had to agree. It made her dizzy, so she made sure to keep both her eyes open for accuracy.

She was about to let the arrow fly when a loud voice interrupted her thoughts. Mikasa immediately halted her movements, pointing the arrow towards the ground to lessen the risk of accidentally puncturing anyone. 

“Mikasa!” Farlan called from the distance. Sasha squinted her eyes, tilting her head to the side. 

“That’s your older cousin, right?” 

Mikasa nodded. “Technically, but he’s like a brother to me.” 

Sasha looked slightly confused, but whatever questions she had were bound to be left unanswered as Farlan bounced to Mikasa’s side. 

“There you are,” he said, grabbing Mikasa’s arm after waving a quick hello in Sasha’s direction. “I’ve been looking _everywhere_ for you!” 

“Why, what’s wrong?” Mikasa asked, worry immediately rising to her chest. _Was Isabel okay? Is Levi still alive? Did he_ **_die?_ **

“It’s over,” Farlan shouted. “The games are over! Levi— _”_

* * *

_**snapshots from the districts -** isabel church (13), kuchel ackerman (48), farlan church (14) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry, this isn't the end! i'll see you guys again in the next installment ;)  
> hope you guys like my sketches of isabel, kuchel, and farlan (idk why he ended up looking like a pirated Jean uh HAHAHA sorry for that)
> 
> thank u so much for ur continuous support, i appreciate yall!! ;)
> 
> follow me on tumblr for levihan shitposting: arekxandura.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> i was bored after i finished writing chapter one of my new hunger games!au for attack on titan so i decided to sketch what I envision Mikasa to look like as a young girl living in district 12. will release more character sketches in the days to come ;) i’m really excited to draw levi and hange ahehe 🥺
> 
> i promise levihan / eremika soon ! Thank you so much for reading and supporting my fics 🥺 i really appreciate you all so very much, yall are very kind to me. have a nice day, everyone!!


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